Things That Piss Me Off

Back in the saddle Kittens, and the title says it all so let’s get right to it today shall we? Ooooohhh….yes….let’s.

Those ridiculous sickening crackers that insist on strapping a plastic chair or trailer to their bicycle and going for a ride on the city streets with a child harnessed into it. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Are you under some impression that your middle class stupidity is going to work as an effective air bag when some jihadist cabbie crushes you and your kids (probably to the benefit of mankind come to think of it) and leaves nothing more of your legacy than a greasy stain and a few chunks of child carcass all over the streets?


(Look she has a plastic helmet and plastic seat for Junior. She’s safer than a Sherman tank)


(Nothing is safer on city streets than a two foot tall canvas trailer that can’t be seen by a delivery truck you idiots)

If you doughy honkies want to go for a ride on a bicycle path with the fruit of you lions lashed to a bicycle, go for it. However, since your painful mind numbing ignorance of common sense prevents you from realizing the obvious, Big Daddy is going to shine the light for you. Big city streets are dangerous places, filled with delivery trucks, insane cab drivers, drunks, ambulances, cops hurrying to beat the shit out of an ethnic person and people rushing to commute home so they can eat a bucket of bacon and gravy pies and watch television.

In case any of you have forgotten what happens when a locks horns with a bike, here’s a reminder.

If that didn’t quite illustrate the point, then let’s try something slightly more artistic shall we?

When you eventually get hit by a car and are maimed to the point where you have to spend your life eating your quiche through a tube, or even better are killed after an agonizing few hours I’ll be the first one to applaud. You child however may have the remote chance of growing up to be slightly wiser and read something other than Pottery Barn catalogues and hopefully not be a drain on society so therefor probably shouldn’t be STRAPPED TO A FUCKING BICYCLE AND CRUSHED BY A TRUCK.

Here’s another abomination of biblical proportions. This place.


(Thanks for the tits god, now I don’t have to think anymore!)

The first time I went to a Hooters I left feeling dirty and sort of icky… a good way. Regardless of what they looked like, the servers were quick, the beer was cheap and cold and the wings were great. The best part was, is that I could go there and hang out with other adults, smoking a cigarette, drinking beer and even though I was at a tacky lame chain restaurant, I wasn’t pestered with roaming packs of child hyenas getting their sticky crayon encrusted paws all over my shoes when they slid and trip on the trail of their own boogers. I could just sit in a tacky place and watch sports, swear and sweat at the televisions with other grown ups.

Not anymore.

Nope, those days are gone. I can’t choose to smoke inside with other smokers in a smoking section of a place that catered to smokers and non smokers anymore. Since adults aren’t allowed to make adult choices anymore, adults ca’t go to an adult bar, drink beer, eat chicken wings and hang out with other adults without somebodies brat flicking play-dough into your dipping sauce.

Now the service sucks because the servers are too busy cleaning up child-goo, they all look like transvestite merchant marines on shore leave in Botswana and the last time I was there the food left me feeling like I just licked a bus station bathroom floor clean.

Here’s another dirty punk that needs a good stern working over. This guy.


Kittens you all know our friend Ryan and his harrowing tale of escaping a life of being used as a plow mule after his parents purchased him from gypsies by running away with his pet turtle Gregory.


Ryan is a nice enough fellow, and a great guy to have a beer with, but his pick pocketing is getting out of control. He’s faster than a mongoose and slipperier than an greased eel. The last time we went out for drinks in a matter of seconds he stole my wallet, one of my my shoes, my belt buckle, my lap top, cell phone, bus fare, sunglasses and sun tan.

We’ve had to tie him down and weld a cowbell around his neck just so we can hear him creeping up on us. He moves like phantom!

While we’re on the topic greasy bandits, this guy either has to be banned from ever speaking again, or tied to a tree and then have some salmon stuffed into his underoos and them release some pissed off bears to have some lunch.


(I know, I know, but it’s accurate)

He sad this in the BBC today;

“The Pope has called for reform of the United Nations and financial bodies, giving them the “real teeth” needed to tackle economic and social injustice.

Benedict XVI said the blind pursuit of profit and economic mismanagement had “wreaked havoc” on the global economy.

The market, said the Pope, must not become the place where the strong prevail over the weak.”

Kittens, this is where the pope lives with his henchmen.


(This place has seen more boy-touching than Neverland)

The ex-Nazi white boy scout has decided that people who live in palaces paid for by the poorest people that still attend their cult masses has decided that he knows all about finances and the economy. This was after a bill that was introduced in America was shot down because;

‘Supporters of a controversial bill to make it easier for alleged child sex abuse victims to sue their abusers thought this was their year to get the legislation passed.

Democrats controlled both the State Senate and Assembly for the first time in years, and the bill had already passed the Assembly three sessions in a row.

But when the Assembly wrapped up its current session early Tuesday in Albany, the bill – like its sponsor Assemby. Margaret Markey (D- Maspeth) – was nowhere to be seen.

The Markey bill would create an “open window” during which the statute of limitations on child sex abuse cases would be dropped. Initially, there was no limit on the alleged victim’s age, but Markey amended it to cap it at 53 years or younger.

Analysts said a variety of factors contributed to the bill’s failure to advance, including what one called an effective lobbying effort by the Catholic Church led by Bishop William Murphy of the Diocese of Rockville Centre, among others. Religious leaders claimed the legislation could “bankrupt” the Church.

“I think she walked into both barrels of a well-organized, well-lubricated lobbying campaign by the Catholic Church,” said veteran Albany lobbyist Desmond Ryan, executive director of the Association for a Better Long Island.

Sean Dolan, a spokesman for the diocese, said Murphy “played an important role” in opposing the bill, writing columns and meeting with and phoning legislators. The New York State Catholic Conference and other bishops also played key roles, Dolan said.

Beyond the church campaign, analysts and politicians said Markey compounded her problems by amending the bill to explicitly include public as well as private institutions. That provoked added opposition from school officials and other public entities.”

The pope decided to talk about a rich economy wreaking havok on the weak and injustice he wants the UN to step up and pay out “with teeth.” Curious how he had one of his henchmen defeat that exact idea when it comes to injustice and abuse served up by his own child raping priests because it would bankrupt them, and he would have to start paying for his own funny hats and rent boys.

Fuck you Benedict.

The last pope, you know, the Polish one abolished surrogate motherhood s if he knew anything about fatherhood or motherhood.

He seemed to have forgotten about that whole virgin Mary thingy.

Catholic church, stick to do what you do best. Stealing from the poor, raping kids and the slave trade.

Since we’re on the topic of people in the self appointed position of authority and moral high ground who enjoy sticking their cocks in places they don’t belong, let’s discuss politicians shall we Kittens? Ooooh my, yes. Let’s do just that.



This Kittens is Eliot Spitzer. Most you remember this douche bag. He fucked a whore a few times and was busted for it.


(Aforementioned whore)

He is mearly an example of the long list of politicians and religious leaders who claim the moral high ground and leader ship of the sheepole who blindly and foolishly place there trust in the people who claim to what is good for them.

They are always being busted for fucking whores (both male and female), kids, page boys, each other and the public financially, morally, legislatively, privacy and your pretend freedoms.

When is the public just going to give up on the notion of electing their politicians based on how well they lie and hide the truth about their lives? Perhaps we should try something else for a change shall we so we don’t get all “what? The guy who said he he was an upstanding moral beacon turned out to be gay, loves meth, man-whores and embezzled millions of dollars from orphan crack babies with AIDS?”

It happens, it will continue to happen and the voting public is partially to blame. It is ridiculous to vote for people who are supposed to run things to be anything less than human. Th right wing enjoys throwing the words “liberal elitist” around to make them appear to be average hard working people.

Kittens, if you are going to continue to vote so you can pretend and fool yourselves that you have freedoms, then perhaps it is an elite person you need. A smarter, harder working person who is smarter than the average person. If that person happens to be a whore loving cock-fighting enthusiast, then so be it. At least you won’t be surprised when it happens, and besides, what a person n any other job title does on their own time for kicks is their business as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else.

Shifting gears (literally and figuratively) my Kittens, let’s discuss another pile of useless human vermin that should be slapped half to death with a non-recyclable hefty bag filled with cobras and ball bearings, weekend Harley riders and their theme restaurants.


(What the fuck is wrong with you people?)

These repugnant twats have single handedly destroyed something that was once beautiful and pure. A V-Twin engine on a hard tail frame stripped down that roared to life like WW2 during a comet collision.

This Kittens, is Indian Larry. He built and rode his own choppers, and died performing this exact stunt a few years. This Kittens, is a biker.


(R.I.P. Larry)

Indian Larry, was pure balls, a true biker an Renascence man. He was not a weak pussy yuppie weekend biker who prefers to hang out at Harley theme restaurants so they can sip Baileys on the rocks and nibble on a cheesecake.


(They met at an organic food store while reaching for the same carton of soy milk)

These are the people that have reduced the blues to The House Of Blues, Rock N Roll to the Hard Rock Cafe and the joy of the open road to cruising around safely close to their suburban home on a silent La-Z-Boy on wheels.


(It has a radio so you can listen to Michael Buble’, and saddle bags so you can pack some Peppermint Schnapps and bagels for a picnic)

If these mutants aren’t ashamed of their lame pussy existence, then perhaps a reminder is in order.

This is now, thanks to you fucking people.


(I hear they have a great wine list)

This when then before you Cinnibon addicted creeps fucked everything up.


(Raw Power)

Finally my Kittens, let’s put some cards on the table and talk about some folks who really need to go away, and although we don’t have to wait long I just wish they’d hurry up and get on with it……old people.

(Oh fuck, he’s not going to attack old people is he? Yup, he sure is)


(Admittedly, a nice pic, but I still want them to leave their walkers at home)

Old people do not deserve respect. Not the unconditional kind that is presumed that they are entitled to. Respect comes from accomplishments. Just because an old person worked their entire lives at an insurance company as a slave does not mean that they are entitled to respect. A cheap seat on the bus perhaps, and 10% off of the price of adult diapers and cookies, sure why not.

It doesn’t automatically entitle them to the keys to respect. There are more unremarkable old folks than remarkable ones. They should all be treated with dignity, but it doesn’t mean that just because an old person has made it a few more years than us without dying and calling that an accomplishment, then they have to settle with the same kid of treatment we all give each other.


~ by jeff on July 7, 2009.

9 Responses to “Things That Piss Me Off”

  1. It looks like a session or two at Pickpockets Anonymous would do me some good.

  2. As if. While you left that coment you stole t-shirt, both of my socks while somehow leaving my shoes on and one of my sideburns.

  3. The other sideburn was giving me cuteye, so I decided to leave him be until he cooperates. I don’t need this shit.

  4. Bollocks, if it isn’t tied down or cemented to the ground, you’ll steal it.

    Your flat must look like Sanford and Son by now you dirty grifter.

  5. You owe me a keyboard, you fuck. I just spit whiskey all over mine.

  6. Alex my son, where are your prioroities. You should be worried about the whiskey, not the fruity keyboard.

  7. That is a good point. A very valid point, actually. Fine. You owe me a bottle of whiskey.

  8. i found carridane’s whore. will report back soon.

  9. You did? Get my $100 back from that bitch!

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