Iran
“Hey Karim, what are you doing?
(Karim rocking the vote. It makes you wonder why there aren’t more Iranian baseball players)
“پرنس آندر رای هستم ”
“No kidding. That sure is an interesting way to Rock The Vote. Maybe we should try that over here sometime. We have a different way of rocking the vote over here in North America.”
(No fat guys were harmed in the making of this blog…..yet)
“من اصلا نمى دونستن شمال ها چنان چاق شده است. پيچ وتاب دار به نظر من مثل منتو و بسيار ضعيف است. چه خوردید که از خوردن نداشته باشد? ”
“That is very true Karim. They are squishy like dumplings and very weak. Many of them won’t even get out of their enormous cars to order their buckets of deep fried bacon wrapped cheeseburger pizza on a stick and side massive pales of sugary soda pop. Americans especially will eat just about anything.”
“درست است كه بيشتر آمريكايي‌ها معيوبين نيز رابطه جنسی با بز و?”
“Hahahahaha….that’s pretty funny Karim, and I don’t even speak Persian.”
“من يک پسر عمويش در آمريكا است. وي مي گويد که من زندگی آمريكايی ها خود را صرف خوردن و ديدن فيلم در باره فعالیت جنسی زنان را مي سازد در حالي كه عشق به دست خود”
“Sadly that is very true Karim, America is very much like making love to your hand. So why are you rioting anyway? Did something piss you off or is this how you folks get your excercise?”
“من چون حدوحصري آن پسر يك سگ سرقت احمدي‌نژاد در انتخابات!”
“Oh yeah, I heard about that. The election being stolen from you guys is pretty bad news. Iran is a good country with very missunderstood people. That really sucks dude, I wish there was something I could do to help.”
“آیا شما در سنگ
“Sorry Karim, I’m not very good at throwing rocks.”
“هايی ”
“Fuck you too, I was just trying to help. Besides, you seem to have bigger problems than me.”
“بله من خيلى ناراحت است. ما مستحق عدالت است.”
“Your people do deserve justice. From what I have read your election was total bullshit, and Mousavi won be a landslide. What are you guys doing about it?”
“I like how you folks think. You’d never see anybody here getting that upset about anything, unless maybe you took away their fast food and shopping malls.”
“بهترين راه براي بيان را با کسی در انگلستان خشم
“Well, there are sveral ways to express your dislike for people in English. I prefer to call people dirty mother fuckers.”
“Ahmadinejad is a dirty butt fucking mother fucker!”
“He you’re getting the hang of this Karim! Nicely done!”
“He is an asshole. My people are being killed in our protests and nobody is helping us. India Pakistan and Russia have already acknowledged his false victory. What ar we going to do?”
“Hmmmm….that’s a tough one Karim. I suppose you could continue to get mental and protest for a few more days until you get bored. Maybe your people will get lucky and the international community will stop being a bunch of pussies and actually support your people to investigate if there was any fraud. If that asshole actually won, then there would be nothing to hide right?”
“It’s not as simple as that you drunken idiot. The west can’t do anything because countries like Russia support that pig fucker Ahmadinejad. If they were to tangle with him, they also have to step up to Russia and all the other fucked up countries in the world that he does business with. If anything was that easy my people wouldn’t be rioting becase even though the west a useless old dinosaur filled with lazy stinky honkies who would rather watch re-runs of Everybody Loves Raymond than do anything, at least they would step in and remove him from power.”
“It looks like you are going to have to remove him from power yourself Karim.”
“We tried that you retard, with an election and look at how that worked out.”
“Karim you and I are friends, so I don’t mind telling you that your English is coming along nicely, but will you please stop calling me a retard.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just really pissed off, and all of this rioting is starting to wear on my nerves.”
“I undestand. I’ve done my fare share of rioting as well. So what are Ahmadinejads supporters doing during all of this?”
“Jesus, that looks a little too familiar.”
(Also didn’t like Jewish people very much)
“My people do not deserve this. We are a democracy and all we wanted was a fair vote.”
(Kinda makes you want to move to Iran doesn’t it?)
“I agree with you Karim. You can talk shit about the west all you like, but we do have our own ways of dealing with douche bag politicians, we make fun of them.”
“We have our ways of doing that as well.”
“Karim, as usual you are right. I just wish the rest of the world would understand that Iran is not a country filled with insane rocket launching people but a wonderful sophistocated society that unfortunately has been taken over by a lunatic with some seriously bad friends that are helping him stay in power.”
“What are we going to do?”
“I suggest you keep rioting. Throw your rocks and go as bat shit crazy as you can. Hopefully at the very least you wll be allowed to have another election where all the votes are counted on monitored.”
(It really does make you wan to move to Iran doesn’t it?)
“I hope the world is watching.”
“Karim, democracy is something all of us should pay attention to but unfortunately most people don’t. If there is a lesson for people in the west to learn about what is going on in yur country is that if it can happen there, it can happen anywhere.”
And now for something completely brilliant…..
http://jimfairthorne.wordpress.com/2009/06/16/electorasshole/
Keep your coins, I want change 
Clearly we’re on the same page. I recommend we stage a — what do they like to call it — a pilgrimage? Yeah, one of those, the ones Ahmadinejad wants to make legal anyway. I’ve still got a pretty good arm on me thanks to my time fighting the Taliban in Afghanistan with the Red Army in the 80s…I had to keep throwing their grenades back at them with the pins pulled out. Rocks aren’t too much of a stretch. Fewer moving parts, too. Let’s fuck some shit up!
As much as I’d enjoy going over there and joining in on there rage, there is one very large drawback…no booze.
Goofy Muslims….