Earth Day!!! Do Something!!!

Earth Day is coming!! Earth Day is coming!! Everybody look busy!! Do something….ummmm…..earthy!!

What can you do you ask? How can you be more earthy? That’s a good question. Maybe we should consult for some answers. They should know, it’s their day after all.

“Earth Day Canada (EDC) is a national environmental communications organization mandated to improve the state of the environment by empowering Canadians to achieve local solutions. Since 1991, EDC has been coordinating Earth Day/Earth Month events, and creating successful community programs and award-winning artistic and media projects.

Earth Day Canada was a recent winner of the top environmental education award in North America for its innovative programs and educational resources. The “Outstanding Service to Environmental Education by an Organization” award was presented to EDC by the Washington-based North American Association for Environmental Education (NAAEE), the world’s largest association of environmental educators, with members in over 55 countries.

EDC was selected by the NAAEE judging panel based on its “visible contributions in environmental education, dedicated service in the field of environmental education, and excellence in reporting environmental issues for the purpose of educating the public, in print or electronic media.”

EDC is a registered charity, and the Canadian arm of Earth Day Network. With over 3,500 affiliated community-based organizations and 5,000 member organizations, EDC operates year-round to provide resources, user-friendly programs, and networking assistance to help Canadians help the Earth.

To improve the state of the environment by empowering and helping Canadians to take positive environmental action.

Earth Day will remain Canada’s strongest positive voice in promoting constructive and sustainable environmental values, actions and solutions.

* CREATE positive public awareness for existing and developing environmental solutions.
* EMPOWER and ENCOURAGE Canadians to take environmental action in their communities.
* ADDRESS the challenges to Canada’s environment by working in partnership to create programs that can be delivered by communities, organizations and individuals.
* FOSTER and MAINTAIN the positive celebration of Earth Day annually.”

What the ^&%$? Did I miss something? Does this ACTUALLY say anything? Let’s look around some more, there must be SOMETHING…

“Celebrated every April 22, Earth Day is the largest, most celebrated environmental event worldwide.

More than 6 million Canadians join 1 billion people in over 170 countries in staging events and projects to address local environmental issues. Nearly every school child in Canada takes part in an Earth Day activity.

Environmental challenges abound as our daily actions pollute and degrade the fragile environment that humans and wildlife depend on to survive.
What can we do?

Earth Day provides the opportunity for positive actions and results.

First launched as an environmental awareness event in the United States in 1970, Earth Day (April 22) is celebrated as the birth of the environmental movement.

Earth Day is a powerful catalyst for change. The first Earth Day, spearheaded by Wisconsin Governor Gaylord Nelson and Harvard University student Denis Hayes, involved 20 million participants in teach-ins that addressed decades of environmental pollution. The event inspired the US Congress to pass clean air and water acts, and establish the Environmental Protection Agency to research and monitor environmental issues and enforce environmental laws.

In 1990, two million Canadians joined 200 million people in 141 nations in celebrating the first International Earth Day. In many countries, the global event brought pressure on heads of state to take part in the UN Earth Summit in Rio de Janeiro to address issues such as climate change and the world wide loss of species.

In Canada, Earth Day has grown into Earth Week and even Earth Month to accommodate the profusion of events and projects. They range from large public events, such as Victoria’s Earth Walk (5,000 participants), Edmonton’s Earth Day Festival at Hawrelak Park (30,000 participants), and Oakville, Ontario’s Waterways Clean-up (2,000 participants) to the thousands of small, private events staged by schools, employee groups and community groups.
Want to get involved? Need some help?

Our programs and resources will help you organize a successful activity, event or project in your organization or community. Please refer to the “resources” tab at the top of your screen for more information.”

Yes my kittens, I am sad to say that these people are serious. If you don’t believe me, go check out their site. I’ll wait.

Admittedly I’ve never cared about Earth Day. I know that the kids clean up some trash or something at their school and they usually require a little deprogramming at the end of the day but that”s about it. It’s one of the bull$h!t “awareness’ events that does nothing, solves nothing but makes people FEEL like they are doing something. I tend to ignore these things outright because I believe that giving them any kind of attention, even in the form of criticism only strengthens them. This morning though I decided to investigate Earth Day for a laugh. It took two brief reads through the copy I have provided above to realize that this is a little weirder than I originally thought. You see, here’s the thing, they don’t actually SAY anything.

“CREATE positive public awareness for existing and developing environmental solutions.”

Like what? They tell people the earth is…ummm….good? They want us to be aware of what environmental solutions? There is no information on their website about what they think, so what are they making us aware of? The fact that people tend to make a mess?

“EMPOWER and ENCOURAGE Canadians to take environmental action in their communities.”

Like? They want to empower you but apparently don’t have anything to empower you with. I suppose that is their plan to reduce power consumption.

“ADDRESS the challenges to Canada’s environment by working in partnership to create programs that can be delivered by communities, organizations and individuals.”

Sounds fan-^&%#ing-tastic! Let’s address some challenges!! Here’s one, How about forcing manufacturers to use less plastic in their packaging of all the products that western civilization consumes every ^&*%ing day and can’t seem to live without so we don’t have to send tonnes of the crap to a landfills and then we can just recycle smaller paper packaging cheaply and effectively? Oh wait, I already see the problem with that. You can’t accomplish something like that at a 5k walk for earth jamboree.

“FOSTER and MAINTAIN the positive celebration of Earth Day annually.”

I suppose that means they want Earth Day to continue, and for us to feel all mushy inside about it, much the same way Pol Pot fostered and maintained a positive celebration of his Pracheachon party and the genocide he merrily committed.

So there you have it folks. The Earth Day people say Earth Day is great, is solving everything everywhere and that you should do as they say, even though they don’t actually do or say anything. They don’t offer solutions, they don’t tell you anything about real initatives they are working on, they don’t even tell what the hell you are supposed to do on Earth Day unlike the church telling you to eat fish on Fridays. Notthing, except the usual, they do tel you exactly how to donate.

When you go to their site, you’ll see a link to donate. You’ll also notice that you can give them money, or donate your aeroplan miles. By donating Aeroplan miles you can make sure that the staff of Earth Day getto fly around the world and talk to other corporate doors. If you are wondering who donates to Earth Day, here ya go;

* Aeroplan
* Acuity Funds Ltd.
* Access E.I.S. Inc.
* Alberta Environment
* Alternatives Journal
* Beachbums Import Co. Ltd.
* Cascades
* The Co-operators
* Sean Cullen
* DDB Canada
* Drake Hotel
* ECHOage
* Eigensinn Farm
* European Breads
* Fashion Takes Action
* Front Row
* Green Street
* Frost Centre Institute
* Sarah Harmer
* Paul Haslip
* Hempola
* Greg Herriott
* HM&E Design Communications
* Hydro One
* Klorane
* Korax

* Lifford Wine Agency
* Macleans Magazine
* MacQuarie North America
* J.W. McConnell Family Foundation
* Mark McKinney
* Microsoft Canada
* Mountain Equipment Co-op
* Org-Matters Solutions Inc.
* Panasonic Canada
* Razor Voice
* Sharp Electronics of Canada
* Margie Shields
* Sony of Canada Ltd.
* Michael Stadtländer
* Students on Ice
* Sunoco Inc.
* Suncor Energy Foundation
* Sustainability Network
* Dr. David Suzuki
* Tafelmusik
* TD Bank Financial Group
* TD Friends of the Environment Foundation
* Toyota Canada
* Warren’s Waterless Printing
* The Weather Network
* VIA Rail Canada
* Yellow Pages
* Zinc ROE

Two stand out here. Suncor and Hydro One. The folks that want to bring wind turbines to every energy bill ^&%$ing LOVE Earth Day soooo much they are giving them money. Ain’t that sweet.

Earth Day and it’s supporters don’t have much to say except that green is swell, and you are a douche unless you support them. They apparently rake in a $h!tload of cash and offer nothing in return. If you believe in Earth Day and actually want to do something for our planet you may want to consider doing something that doesn’t involve a money making bull$h!t charity and just try not buy as much crap. It’s simple, it’s easy, and no professional charity cases will have their hands in your pocket.


~ by jeff on April 20, 2009.

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